Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
