Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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