Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
