So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
