my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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