wat bout pragnant strippers??
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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