The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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