I wannas sexs uuuuu
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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