Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize