It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
