He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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