I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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