i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize