I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize