Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
