Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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