Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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