So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
