How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
two words...techno handjob
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize