guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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