if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
