you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
