porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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