Quick, to the slutcave!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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