He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
