This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
we're so committed to being not committed
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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