He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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