I can tuck mytits in my pants
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
just tell him i said nine months
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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