At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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