We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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