I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
