Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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