This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
