just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
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You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
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The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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