i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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