Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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