I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
