I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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