Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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