I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
