I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
