you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
