I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
