I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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