i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I didn't notice because vodka
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
