I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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