you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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