Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
