There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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