Its about making memories worth repressing
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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