Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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