She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize