you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
