She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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