I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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