New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Vodka?
Forever.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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