Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
