You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
