Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
