1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
