Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
im on a boat
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