My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Randomize
