No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
