college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
