the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
