O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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