I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The air was thick with penises
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
