he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize